a mother's everything
by adatenoway
Summary: a mother's fear, a mother's worry, a mother's jealousy, a mother's life. Hardships between a lazy inconsiderate husband and a child that rejects her mother's love.
1. lay'n down the law

A Short Story

"Can you say I love mommy?"

"No I wuv dadee."

"But baby don't you love mommy too?"

"NO" Oh well she must not know how to say momee yet. We'll get there. I am so tired I worked a hard day today. A soak in the tub sounds good.

"Hey, Bella can you cook dinner? Oh and the guys are coming over." Let's see do we have enough food to feed and army? Well… Looking in the fridge I see that it's empty.

"Yeah, but I have to go grocery shopping. The clothes are in the wash can you throw them in the drier and throw in the next load while I'm gone?" Let's see I need to get meat. And lots of it. What else?

"But baby the game is going to start soon." Looking at Jared and his pouting face I can't help but give.

"Fine just throw the clothes that are in the wash into the drier." That smile I love appeared.

"Ok." Leaving I head to the store.

An hour and a half later, getting out of my car I run to the door. Letting myself inside I walk into the living room. The entire pack was here.

"Hey Jared can you help me with the groceries?"

"Babe I'm watching the game" Ok he's busy. Alright Bella time to exercise. Walking back outside I open the trunk and grab some bags. They were heavy. My arms strained to keep the bags from dropping to the ground all the while screaming in agony. I am so tired. I closed my eyes to clear them of a fog I seemed to see. Opening them I was face to face with Paul. Letting out a silent shriek the bags slipped from my hands. Shit. Only to be saved by Seth.

"Don't scare me like that Paul. Hey Seth what's up?"

"Well you needed help right? Did you forget just how human you are?" Yeah human.

Seth and Paul helped me carry in all the bags of groceries. My eyes began to sag. Nope time to cook. I didn't cook anything fancy, just some nachos. After telling the boys the food was done I went into the laundry room to take the clothes out of the drier.

Only the thing is the drier was empty. Thank god Jared folded the clothes. I'll just do another load before I call it a night. Opening the washer I was surprised to see clothes inside. Jared is a life saver he even started a new load. Taking the clothes from inside the washer out I couldn't help but wonder why these clothes looked like I already washed them. Jared. He didn't even put the load that I asked him to in the drier in the frick'n drier. What was he doing for an hour and a half? Throwing the clothes into the drier I couldn't help but sigh in irritation. I work, cook, clean and do everything else in- between and he couldn't throw some clothes into a drier? He's a freaking werewolf. All he does is run eight hours of patrol. That's it. I am so tired. So tired and yet I have to come home and cater to a husband who is good for shit, and a daughter who hates me. Why the hell do I come home? Why? That's not the way to think. Bella pull yourself together.

Walking out of the laundry room I sighed as I see all of the mess that the pack left when I enter the kitchen. Groaning I slowly begin to clean the kitchen. Stacking all of the dishes together I heaved them up to the sink. Grabbing the sponge I soaped it up only to have it torn from my grasp. Gasping I turn around only to bump into a well sculpted chest. Looking up I saw that aggravating smile belonging to none other than Paul.

Turning around I couldn't help but whine.

"What do you want Paul?"

"I want you to sit down." Turning around to confront him, whatever words I was about to say got stuck in my throat. Paul's face was serious. I had never seen Paul serious, except when he was beyond angry. This was different though.

"Sit." I knew he was serious yet Paul acting serious left me frozen.

"Hugh Bella what are we going to do with you?" All I know was that I was lifted. I know he was a werewolf but I wasn't exactly light. I was at least 196 pounds and 202 pounds wet. Not exactly light.

"Paul."

"Bella." Paul's patronizing voice filled my ears and I knew he was back to normal.

"Paul"

"Sit. Stay" Excuse me?

"Excuse me?"

"Bella you heard me. So like a good little girl you're going to sit there and stay there and rest. Got that?"

Giving into Paul actually wasn't too hard. I am super tired, too tired to complain.

I don't know when or how but what I do know is that I fell asleep.

I woke up to Paul lifting me.

"Shh go back to sleep Bella I'm just going to take you to bed." I couldn't help but giggle, Paul taking me to bed?

"But Paul I have a husband." Looking down at me he smirked and said.

"Well if you're real quiet I think we can get away with it."

I couldn't help but laugh. But I also couldn't help but let my sleep pull me back into the darkness.

I woke up to Jared shaking me awake.

"Bella Sia needs to be put into bed." What time is it? Looking at the clock it read 12:22 am. What the hell?

"Jared, why the hell is she still awake? She has preschool tomorrow, now she'll be crabby. Why couldn't you let me sleep? She'll only ask for you to sing her a song anyway? Now I'll never get to sleep. Damn't Jared you couldn't do this on your own?" Huffing angrily I couldn't help but stomp up off the bed and bump my shoulder into him as I walked out of the bedroom. I was sleeping well. I am so tired and now I'll wake up feeling like I slept a minute.

Walking into Sia's pink bedroom, I couldn't help but smile. She was trying to put on her underwear.

"Let me help you."

"No"

" But baby those are on backwards. You did a very good job putting them on but they are on backwards. How about we take them off and put them on the right way. You can put them on again let's just put them on the right way. Ok?"

She nodded her head and took her underwear off, only to put them on the right way. Smiling and chanting how she was a big girl I kissed her forehead only to have her wipe my kiss off. That feeling where your heart plummets into a sea of sorrow is the only way to explain what I was feeling. She always let Jared kiss her forehead or anywhere else. What have I done wrong?

"Baby how come you wiped my kiss away?"

"I don't ike mommies kisses, I wuv daddy's kisses."

"Oh, ok mommy won't kiss you anymore." Helping her put on her pajamas with a heavy heart I began to tuck her in, only for her to throw a tantrum.

"I don't want mommy. I want daddy. Only daddy can. No mommy."

"Daddy is sleeping baby why don't you let mommy tuck you in and sing to you?"

"No" Then there cam the full tantrum. She began to throw herself all over the place and cry and scream. When did she become so spoiled as to think she can throw a tantrum? I don't know whether it was because I was tired sad or fed up but I snapped.

"Sia hush. Daddies sleeping, you're going to wake him up. Shh."

"NO I WANT DADDEEEE. I WANT DADDEEE." Screaming and thrashing all over the place like she was on fire. Oh hell no.

"Whack" All was silent. A big eyed child stared at me with wide eyes full of disbelief.

"Sia you don't throw a tantrum just because you don't get your way. That is naughty, that is not how a big girl acts. Now go to sleep. I was going to sing to you, but since you don't want me to and you acted naughty I want you to go straight to bed." She quickly went underneath her covers and stared at me. I slowly walked towards the door, my eyes burning with unshed tears and turned off her light. I walked into the hallway and began to close her door.

"I hate you mommy." My heart shattered and burned to ash.

"I know." I whispered to nothing but the air.

Sia has been nothing but trouble. She's been glaring at me all day and is making my life living hell.

"Sia baby don't draw on the walls. You know that your not supposed to do that."

"No Sia you can't eat candy right now wait until after dinner."

"Sia, no. Sia don't touch daddies phone."

She wouldn't leave anything alone. She got into everything and anything. Especially things that were important. Like my work for work. She ripped drew and hid papers all around the house. She even went as far as peeing her undies like and untrained baby.

"Sia you need to stop acting like this. Now. You need to stop. Do you want a spanking?"

"I hate you. I hate you mommee I hate you." It didn't matter that she had already said it or that I knew it, it didn't matter at all. Those words still hurt me.

I pulled a chair from the table and sat in it putting my head in my hands. Taking deep breaths so as not to cry I sat there. I know it was a long time, a long, long time. I sat there for a good thirty minutes. Pulling myself together I stood from my seat to see Sia watching TV, like she did nothing wrong. I walked swiftly to the basement and brought up a box. Going into Sia's room I threw all of her toys into the box, everything that she could play with or entertain herself with, except for the books and coloring books. Those she could play with. Taking the box I put it back downstairs. Going up the stairs I continued on into the living room. Picking up the remote I turned off the TV and put the remote up on the top shelf. Sia began to whine.

" Sia you have been and are being naughty. So I'm grounding you. You don't want to listen and you want to act like a baby and throw tantrums well this is what will happen." As expected she began throwing herself off the sofa and around on the floor. Ignoring her I went to the kitchen and sat down on the seat I had sat on before.

Sia was still throwing her tantrum and it's been two hours.

"Sia stop it. You have no reason to be crying so stop it."

"But u ont turn on da TV." She cried all through her speech

"That's because you were acting naughty like you are now. Once you start acting nice again I'll turn on the TV." She started screaming and ranting and I couldn't help but give a small smile. Not in happiness but of bitterness.

"I hate you"

"When have you ever not?" I whispered.

Sia ran to her room and slammed the door closed, only to cry when she found all her toys missing. She stayed in there crying all day until her daddy came home. Where was I? Well I was in the kitchen with my head in my hands trying not to cry. What kind of mother am I? What child hates their mother?

It was a bad day at work. My boss went off on me. I came home after picking Sia up from preschool to come home to a messy house. Jared was the only one here all day, so why did it look as though elephants had played football I have no idea but what I do know is that I am tired. I needed a break. A break so bad.

I looked down at my baby who was trying to take her shoes off.

"Can you say I love mommy?"

"No. I wuv dadee." Always daddy.

"But baby don't you love mommy too."

"NO" My shoulders sunk down and I

"See Bella she's daddies' little girl." Yeah she's daddies' little girl. Who pushed her out of there privates for nine hours? I did. Who changes her diapers? I do. Who picks up all of her toys? I do. Who lets her watch TV a lot and eat cake for breakfast? I do. Who dresses her for school every morning? I do. Who cooks dinner right after work and does her laundry? I do. So what makes him so special that you only love him?

"Yeah she's daddies little girl." Smiling I feel my heart drop and dance along to the song of sadness with in my belly, a belly that carried that baby for ten long months. Smiling I get up quickly so that my tears may not be discovered by my husband of 5 years, a husband who has stolen my child's heart along with mine from me. What am I thinking? That's her dad. But then again I'm her mom. What kind of mother am I, that her child hates her so? What kind of mother am I?

"Babe what's for dinner?"

"I'm tired Jared, make something or order I don't care."

"Bella honey I want to eat a home cooked meal I've been waiting all day for you to come home and cook."

"You've been waiting all day for my cooking yet couldn't cook it with on the seven hours I was gone?"

"Bella yours tastes better."

"Jared I'm tired. I just want to take a nap. Maybe after a nap I'll cook."

"But Bella…"

"Jared I said I'm tired. I'm tired I've worked long and hard and I really need to rest."

"Bella just make something quick. Please I'm hungry."

"JARED IM TIRED I'VE WORKED ALL DAY AND I'M TIRED. DON'T YOU GET IT? IM TIRED." I screamed and I never scream.

"Why the hell are you screaming at me?" He doesn't know?

"You want to know why? Because I'm tired. T. I. R. E. D. tired. I've worked for seven hours while you've stayed home all day and did nothing but dirty up a house that I cleaned last night. I vacuumed I dusted I washed and I am tired. I come home everyday to a werewolf that seems to be good for shit and a child who hates their mother. I have to come home and clean what was already cleaned less than 24 hours ago. Not only that but you can't seem to do the littlest things I ask you and I don't ask you for much. You can't seem to help me with anything. I have to take care of a kid that loves her daddy yet the only one who is taking care of her is me. I clean, dress, feed and take her where ever she needs to go. I give you everything you want while I'm already tired without so much as a thank you in return. I am tired. So tired Jared. I'm your wife yet I feel like a maid. I'm a mother yet I feel like a nanny. I am only 25 yet I feel like a 50 year old with every ache and pain that fills my body. I'm tired Jared. So, so tired. And with that I broke down into tears. No not tears. I sobbed so hard that I was hiccupping and loosing breath. Snot mixed with tears and sobs turned into repeats as Jared stood there looking.

"Get out. Jared."

"But Bella I…"

"GET OUT. And take your daughter with you."

"She's your daughter too."

"No she's not. She was never mine, nor did she ever want to be. She's daddy's little girl, remember?


	2. man 2

Emily I am done telling you why Jared can't come home. If you want to take care of him so damn much then you take him into your home and deal with his shit.

….

Emily this is not a fucking phase he is a fucking adult. Depression is a phase, his damn wolf is a phase but his ability to be the laziest shit around is not. It's who he is and if you think he's not then do me the favor of fucking taking him in.

…..

I can be as pissed at you as I want to. You're putting your tongue where it's not supposed to be and if you want to know what that exactly entails, my fucking life would be it. Pretend that I am a piece of shit that you see on the sidewalk and avoid at all costs.

…

You can't just expect us to fall in line because you want to fix us. We're not a damn object that you can fix with duct tape. You can't manipulate and sink your claws into us. I'm not a fucking werewolf. I'm not even a damn imprint so you can take that bullshit you're sprouting about how you being the alphas mate entitle you to fucking get into business that doesn't concern you.

…. Click 

A whole flipp'n hour of my life has been wasted. What the hell is she fucking on that she thinks that she can order me to fix my problems this way and that? What nerve.

Standing in the kitchen I can feel my heart thumping in my neck and my chest heaving with my breath panting, a hot damn mess. Reaching out with both of my hands I lay them on the counter and let my head meet the countertop. So cold.

"So Bella you ready for me to take you to bed?"


	3. Paul's advice

Paul, just who I needed. Turning on my heel I swung around to face the object that was going to receive my anger. Paul.

"I don't know, would it be just me and you or with every woman in a 50 mile radius?" A smirk took over his face as his eyes sparkled with mirth.

"Well if that wasn't an ego booster I don't know what is. I'll take that as a compliment. So who fucked your ass with no lube?" Always one to be crude. Hugh.

"Emily. That's who. Jared's acting like a fricking jerk. He went crying to his alpha's wife. Really? I bet he whined like a baby because he had to actually take care and make arrangements for his child. What kind of woman does he think I am? He doesn't get it, he doesn't get what I've sacrificed what I have put on hold for him and our demon child. He doesn't know. No he knows he just doesn't care. What kind of person does that?" Looking up at Paul I saw a smile on his face. Why this little ass.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Bella, Bella, Bella he's a man. Not a good man but a man and men are …."

"Dogs."

"What?"

"They are dogs." His face seemed to crunch up in amusement and he his mouth struggled to fight off a smile.

"I was going to say idiots, but hey dog works. Well anyways Most men are dogs and you've seem to have caught a lot of them. Bella not all men are idiots, or like Jared or Mike or Edward or Rick or Nicholas or what's that one you dated in phoenix?"

"I think I get the point" I couldn't help as each word came out with more anger and pronunciation. Really he had to bring up the past? And he says not all men are idiots.

"What I am trying to say is that not all men are like those that you have dated. There's only one way to cure yourself of one and it's the most known one on earth. You have to be stupid to not know it." Raising my eyebrows in expectation and irritation I can't help but glare at him and let out a huff. "Anyways the point is…"

"Yes please tell your point I grow tired of your now sociable mouth." A big smile came to his mouth and a gleam that spoke all he was thinking went into his eyes. "Shut up."

"If you would be polite and listen to my helpful advice with interruptions you'd hear the answer to your question."

"Yah ok, your point Paul is?"

His eyes looked into mine and all playfulness leaves his face. Shit, a serious Paul is a scary Paul.

"Leave him"

Alright I have recieved lots of reviews which encouraged me to write this chap so please review even if you act like a cavemen. I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE REVIEWED AND SUPPORTED ME.


	4. Rage

Bella why don't you come on out honey. We have to talk." To talk, to talk? I'm pissed the hell off and this man wants to talk? To talk? Where was he when I wanted to talk? I had called every single one of the damn pack members until they would just tell me Jared told them to not tell me where he was. Really? So I stopped. It's been a month. A month and now all of a sudden out of nowhere he wants to talk. To talk. Talk. Well I'll show him how I talk. Looking around the house I couldn't help but get angry. II was nowhere in this house, in fact it looked like that of a poor bachelor. Looking at the tv I couldn't fight the smirk that made its way slowly to my face.

So you want to ignore me for a month and then decide to talk. Fine. Taking the nearest object in reach I hurled it at his most loved item. His girl, his women, that new plasma TV. It's shiny screen cracked and the hammer stay wedged in between its now messed up face. Walking, no stalking I grabbed the handle and pulled it out only to bring it back down again and again and again ten times more. Hunting for my next prey I smiled in glee. Nearly running towards the game systems that to mocked me in my defeat I raised my weapon over my head letting them meet the same fate as the other one did. All thos beautiful shiny toys now laid strewn across the room their body parts slashed and dented to lay dead.

Adrenaline rushing threw my veins and my blood pumping through my heart I let out a laugh. I could feel it from my belly to my head. I … It…. It was just so damn hilarious. Hilarious. Oh man. Those cabinets. Those very ones I told him to fix and he never did and lead to me going to the hospital with a concussion. Those were getting exactly what they deserve. A beating. Speed walking to my destination I zeroed in on my target and they wobbled in fear. Letting out my war cry I ran like an Indian with a mouth of a banshee and slashed my blade against flesh. They surrendered yet I gave no mercy and they too were slain and left to deteriorate in the dust of my anger.

What more than angered me other than the TV and game systems that gained my husband's affection and attention and the cupboard doors that fought me in a fit of jealousy was that damn bathroom. Oh did he piss me off. Throwing fits and continuing to cause rifts because it was never satisfied with what we have done. I have gone on my hands and knees and begged it to forgive Jared for his dirtiness and caused me to yell at Jared constantly. I scrubbed it clean and yet it decided to throw a fit when it got a brand new spanking shower head. Its services broke down and the king's throne was no longer in working condition. The king was constantly mad over such a thing and decided to yell at me for his discomfort.

Dancing in a murdering rage I swung my arms about vibrating as it came into contact with the porcelain seat and throbbing as glass met skin. That shower that was once our private romance cave now angered me as all the memories of our once upon a time love dawned upon me. No longer would we have such a thing. No longer was out love for each other going to last for like a book there is the beginning and the end.

As I thought about all the things that reminded me of our once upon a time love I killed it with fast and strong hits until it no longer exists. My mind and attention were solely concentrated at the tasks at hand. I never noticed the door opening and the pack coming in, until…..


	5. Reaction

A hot hand grabbed my weapon. Turning around I saw an arrangement of different expressions. Oh and Jared's was just the best. He looked scared and pissed. Too bad, I now have the last laugh. Looking at the hand that held my weapon, still in my grasp, up in the air. Paul. A laugh gurgled from somewhere deep only this time laughter was not alone. Tears. Stupid tears that have wanted to come out for a long time finally have appeared. Hysterical laughs turned into Hysterical sobs only to then switch on and off. Rocking back and forth I could feel my mouth stretch in different directions not knowing which way to go. My arms hugged myself as I could feel the breaking of my soul.

Why I constantly cry over men who have decided to abandon me I don't know. But at this point in time I just want to curl up and never wake up. Take a long "vacation" or simply "fall asleep". I feel super week. The bathroom filled with the pack filled me with panic. There is no room to breathe. My sobs are turning into wheezes and I can distantly hear someone screaming. Black dots dance with in my view site. Capturing my attention I allow them to pull me into the music and distance me from the breaking of my heart.


	6. Right Path

Author's Note.

Never had to do one of these before.

Ok Yell at me I know I have not written for a long time nor was I a consistent writer beforehand. I am sincerely sorry as generic as that sounds. I am going to finish my stories I have a tendency to not finish anything and I want to fix that so this is a good way to start. I will try to update weekly. Ummm…. I think that's it. For now at least.


	7. Author's Note

After having read a review that was sent in 2012 on a story I realized that I am not consistent. I neglect my writings and then come back only to change the whole thing. So I have made a deal, with a friend. If I write a chapter a week for any story then I may have a piece of cake. You know those individually cut pieces of cake that they sell for your convenience, delish. And when I actually finish a story…. Well we haven't gotten that far yet. Anyway that's my deal.


	8. Your way : My way

Waking up to a bright light shining on my face was not fun. My eyes burned and a drum pounded against the confines of my head nearly cracking it open.

A moan escaped from my lips and tears raced down my face. I didn't need a mirror to tell that I looked and probably was a mess.

"Open your eyes Bella I know that you are awake." Paul, this last month he had seen me slowly deteriorate. He had let me make my own decisions and didn't try to divert my attention to any happy emotions or thoughts. Paul just acted as Paul and laid back and watched me fall.

"Bella come on open those beautiful eyes. I have someone here who has been dying to see you."

Someone to see me. Who would want to see me? Nobody. Not a damn one. Maybe Paul but Paul is already here. Sleep I need sleep.

"Mommee?" Its mommy. Wait is that my baby? My eyes shot open and were instantly drawn to my child who sat by Paul. Tears were in her eyes and she looked as if she had been crying for a long time. What's wrong? What had happened to my baby? What had I allowed to happen to her? I neglected her.

My baby I left her alone with that man who couldn't even take care of himself. My baby I'm so sorry. Sitting up I looked at Pal's face and he simply read my mind. He shook his head and looked down at my child, my baby. Fighting the dizziness I opened my arms towards her and she ran on top of the bed and hugged me back.

She hugged me. She touched my, willingly. She..

"Mommee m sorree." Tears clouded my vision and I hugged her as tight as I dared to my chest, hoping that I would never wake up from this dream.

Looking up I saw Paul smiling. Only to meet my eyes and change his face entirely.

"We did it your way. Now we do it mine." The finality within his voice told me I had no choice but with my daughter in my arms I shook my head and erased it from my mind. I had my baby and that's all that matters


	9. Next

Many things have changed since the night I broke down.

It's been one week 2 days and however many hours since the day I broke down.

Jared had finally packed the rest of his stuff up a couple of days ago, but to be honest looking at all of my things within the house I'm not so sure he should leave. My stuff looks so plain and lonely almost as if it is a stranger within this home. My stuff no longer belongs here and neither do I.

Paul has pretty much stayed with me and my baby the entire time. He's been sleeping with me in the living room. It's the only room that doesn't smell like Jared. It's the only room that smells like Paul and does Paul smell good.

Paul is everything I could ever have wanted. How I ended up with Jared I don't know but Paul well Paul is not Paul. Well not the Paul that I thought I knew. He plays with my kid and makes her laugh. He does things with her that Jared would never have even thought of doing. He takes her to the park, he makes her have fun while helping us clean, he gave her chores, and he cook and lets her help. He would be the perfect dad, and the perfect husband.

My therapist says that I like him. As if I couldn't already figure that out. I mean I think about the man almost 24/7. He smells, so manly and musky not in a musty way but in a manly way, yes I said it twice. He's a man who knows how to work and provide and take care of the needs of a woman. Don't ask how I got all of that from jus his smell. He's so hot and sexy.

And the thing is he knows it.

He caught me drooling over him as I watched him cut wood outside from the porch. The way the muscles in his back flexed every time he swung that ax had me drooling. So enthralled by the fact that a man was actually committing manual labor I didn't even notice him stop and turn around. I couldn't even find it within me to feel ashamed.

Speaking of Paul he'll be hungry.

The pack will probably be coming by. It seems ever since I broke down and went crazy they have all been on eggshells around me. It's kind of funny to see such big beasts scared of a puny human.

I think Paul is at fault for some of it.

Three days ago the pack came by for a planned dinner and Emily made a comment about the house still being a mess and me being a neglectful parent.

Reviews Review Review.

PLEASE.


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